First year of post-grad life

Another two months. I've now lived in Baltimore for 2 years. But much of what defined Baltimore for me, the people I see on a regular basis, has changed. The lack of a core group of friends feel odd since they are certainly available by email, there is little to talk about. Continuing to do so through the school is odd since I definitely don't fit their class. They are fun to observe, although I do feel that I come across as a know-it-all. I can't help it in their case since I already went through everything they did for the school. I don't even get invites from the second year class because I'm definitely outside their spectrum now. People won't even return my calls.

In other respects, I've joined the MAC/gym. I think exercising will be good for me. I've improved my mental abilities during most of my life. I've improved my social skills since undergrad, so I think working on my physical side would be important. The problem would be trying to frame this in my mind as a method to routinely develop setting and achieving goals on the physical side.

My biggest concern right now is that I'm not seeing all that there is to see here. We always have a limited amount of time here and we always forget it. I want to travel, but is that really a goal. Travelling in and of itself is an experience. But I think the experience is what I want, and the ability to share that experience.

Am I looking externally for answers too much nowadays? I've always found solace in games and books and discovering new worlds. For the past 3 years, all I did was talk to people and try to understand their views. It was great, but its also limiting. I need to look internally for answers because I like solving puzzles. This means I have to regroup myself and rediscover what I'm really missing in terms of experiences.

Lastly, on the professional front, I haven't done anything to really propel me anywhere. Granted, it's only been 2 months, but on the other hand, it has been 2 months and I haven't followed up on anything or remember to continue to research on other issues. Instead, I've been following politics like it is the opiate of the masses. Seriously, I have to stop myself by saying it doesn't matter. Focus on how to generate ideas to solve pain points and problems for healthcare and people in general.

And probably have to learn to be more positive. And to stop critiquing and analyzing everyone. I think another issue is I don't know what people expect. I'm willing to help if it's important, but don't ask me to drive you to places and don't take me for a chump. But if I'm always open to offer knowledge and skills that I have. Because I believe in distribution of knowledge and truth. Maybe I'm warped given how I see the world, compared to other more socially apt people. I don't give compliments often enough I suppose. If I give you a compliment though, take it and run. It means I'm super impressed, and that doesn't happen often.

At least three more years here. And yet, I don't know what's going to happen. See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

Graduated and aimless

There's so much I want to say, but I think I have to space them out, or it sounds like whining.

Graduated. No job. May have one soon.

Do I really want to stay in Baltimore? Do I have a choice?

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

VC competition

I'm not angry we just lost. It's because we lost even though our technicals are right and everyone else's is so deeply flawed.

After looking at it, we lost mainly because we used the right financial instrument, but the entrepreneur didn't understand it because they didn't do their homework. Our fault was that we didn't communicate that fact.

But the valuations and equity stakes that the other team gave are patently ridiculous. 50% for a seed stage round? That "poisons the well" more than any Series A round.

I learned something today about myself. I fucking hate, deep hatred, for events that occur inappropriately if the technical answer loses to fluff, especially when the fluff will never work and has been proven. And especially when we were being the most fair, and yet people still pick stuff that's bad for them.

Abstractly, I distinctly hate it when we lose because of someone else's incompetence (in this case, the entrepreneur). I think that's the biggest thing and why I was angry.

Congrats to the team that won. I do hope that they will win regionals, but they will need to shore up their knowledge.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

Hello 2012

It's been another year.

What can I say about 2011? I got to go to Peru. I worked for the US government. I won a case competition. I was part of several MBA job treks. But those are just activities.

More importantly, I spent time with some of the most amazing people I know.

And on the eve of 2012, I am going to Thailand to start my southeast Asia trip. 21 days of going to southeast Asia, eating and experiencing life. And as you all know, there will be pictures involved.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

A new leaf

So many good things has happened in the recent past, that I feel compelled to share them.

1. Interest from a VP in McKesson providing contacts
2. Got two decent grades when I didn't expect it.
3. Trip in another 2 weeks to southeast asia, with camera
4. Got a new interest.
5. Photos are coming along pretty well.