A new leaf

So many good things has happened in the recent past, that I feel compelled to share them.

1. Interest from a VP in McKesson providing contacts
2. Got two decent grades when I didn't expect it.
3. Trip in another 2 weeks to southeast asia, with camera
4. Got a new interest.
5. Photos are coming along pretty well.

Another year...growth?

Wow, been a while since I've ranted or wrote anything here. So, what has changed? I grow a little older, a little wiser. Incremental improvements to myself: professionally, socially and fashionably?

Why am I writing now? Has my situation changed this much that it warrants an update? I guess I should write a few things to balance my consumption side. I have to create in order to balance that out.

I think I've done well since coming to this MBA. I feel like I'm gotten better at what I do. But sometimes I feel like the same kid inside. I still can't read people very well. I overanalyze. i take people directly at their word. But sometimes I feel still like I have no personality. In the sense of charisma, in terms of funny stories, or to entertain people. I just don't have that skill. I don't have the ability that some has, to be outrageously happy and shrug off comments, or to use my wit and charm to weave entertaining stories. That's a skill I've yet to learn. I can listen. But if I ask too many questions, it sounds like an interrogation.

I cannot figure her out. Actually, at this point, I don't think she's interested. Am I being played? I don't think she's doing it consciously. Or maybe she is. Maybe I'm just being way too passive. Which could be true. Maybe I'm not vulnerable enough to really want/need a relationship. I sabotage myself a lot mainly because I come in which such a negative attitude. Right now, I swing between apathy and arrogance. I don't have that comfortable medium between the two called confidence.

I'm getting tired of games. I dislike confrontations though. I back my arguments by numbers or facts. Which are not very valuable in a emotional discussion. I think the time when I feel like I should confront people, is when I don't care anymore, which usually means I already lost any feelings I had already.

I wish improving yourself was simple. Where you can get more immediate feedback.

I think I can stand a lot of things. The only thing I can not stand, is being ignored.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

What to do now?

If you didn't know, I'm posting most of my adventures in Baltimore in my new blog:
A King in America (akinginamerica.blogspot.com).

This blog will remain my emo side.

So yeah. Where to start?

Right now, I'm in a situation where I don't know if I should ask out the girl or not. I'm apparently clueless when trying to read signals. Timing is everything...in everything. So trying to time it right is hard. And since I don't really have any classes or groups or ANYTHING in common with her schedule, bumping into her randomly would also be hard.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just do it, even if the probability of success would be low, just to get it over with. Then I don't want to because that would mean that I wouldn't be with her if I do get shot down. Boo to that. I want to maximize my chances here.

Okay. Enough emoness. I think I'll just work hard and see if I can do anything about my love life later I suppose.

Technology Ruins Romance

Sometimes, I wonder if there's such a thing as fate or destiny.

But we seldom get to test it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIiW0Trk3T0

But to tell you the truth, I really have no excuse. I have known her for a while, but I haven't done anything. I guess I was trying to avoid drama or any awkwardness. But no reward without risk right?

It's kind of a moot point though. I'm leaving in less than 3 days. In a new place, two years can change a lot of things. Maybe we'll meet again in two years. Haha, but then again, technology would ruin the romance because we'll constantly keep in touch.

But she makes me want to be a better person. Mainly because I respect her abilities a lot, even if she doesn't see it.

Well, we'll see what will happen in a few days. There's time now I suppose.

See you in my dreams, my dear Valkyrie.

Excited

I am excited.

Less than 3 weeks and I'm gone from Toronto, about to embark on a new adventure to last for 2 years.

I've register a new name for a new blog to document my time there. This will still reflect my journey through life though.

I apologize for the lack of updates. I've been busy procrastinating and just generally wasting time and hanging out with friends. I realize I do have a lot to be thankful for.

Nothing really out of the ordinary has happened besides the things listed. I guess I'll update when something happens. But like that quotation from A Moment With You, "the moment before anything happens, that's perfect.", maybe this is the perfect time. I'll make damn sure it doesn't go downhill from here.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.