Graduated and aimless

There's so much I want to say, but I think I have to space them out, or it sounds like whining.

Graduated. No job. May have one soon.

Do I really want to stay in Baltimore? Do I have a choice?

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

VC competition

I'm not angry we just lost. It's because we lost even though our technicals are right and everyone else's is so deeply flawed.

After looking at it, we lost mainly because we used the right financial instrument, but the entrepreneur didn't understand it because they didn't do their homework. Our fault was that we didn't communicate that fact.

But the valuations and equity stakes that the other team gave are patently ridiculous. 50% for a seed stage round? That "poisons the well" more than any Series A round.

I learned something today about myself. I fucking hate, deep hatred, for events that occur inappropriately if the technical answer loses to fluff, especially when the fluff will never work and has been proven. And especially when we were being the most fair, and yet people still pick stuff that's bad for them.

Abstractly, I distinctly hate it when we lose because of someone else's incompetence (in this case, the entrepreneur). I think that's the biggest thing and why I was angry.

Congrats to the team that won. I do hope that they will win regionals, but they will need to shore up their knowledge.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

Hello 2012

It's been another year.

What can I say about 2011? I got to go to Peru. I worked for the US government. I won a case competition. I was part of several MBA job treks. But those are just activities.

More importantly, I spent time with some of the most amazing people I know.

And on the eve of 2012, I am going to Thailand to start my southeast Asia trip. 21 days of going to southeast Asia, eating and experiencing life. And as you all know, there will be pictures involved.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

A new leaf

So many good things has happened in the recent past, that I feel compelled to share them.

1. Interest from a VP in McKesson providing contacts
2. Got two decent grades when I didn't expect it.
3. Trip in another 2 weeks to southeast asia, with camera
4. Got a new interest.
5. Photos are coming along pretty well.

Another year...growth?

Wow, been a while since I've ranted or wrote anything here. So, what has changed? I grow a little older, a little wiser. Incremental improvements to myself: professionally, socially and fashionably?

Why am I writing now? Has my situation changed this much that it warrants an update? I guess I should write a few things to balance my consumption side. I have to create in order to balance that out.

I think I've done well since coming to this MBA. I feel like I'm gotten better at what I do. But sometimes I feel like the same kid inside. I still can't read people very well. I overanalyze. i take people directly at their word. But sometimes I feel still like I have no personality. In the sense of charisma, in terms of funny stories, or to entertain people. I just don't have that skill. I don't have the ability that some has, to be outrageously happy and shrug off comments, or to use my wit and charm to weave entertaining stories. That's a skill I've yet to learn. I can listen. But if I ask too many questions, it sounds like an interrogation.

I cannot figure her out. Actually, at this point, I don't think she's interested. Am I being played? I don't think she's doing it consciously. Or maybe she is. Maybe I'm just being way too passive. Which could be true. Maybe I'm not vulnerable enough to really want/need a relationship. I sabotage myself a lot mainly because I come in which such a negative attitude. Right now, I swing between apathy and arrogance. I don't have that comfortable medium between the two called confidence.

I'm getting tired of games. I dislike confrontations though. I back my arguments by numbers or facts. Which are not very valuable in a emotional discussion. I think the time when I feel like I should confront people, is when I don't care anymore, which usually means I already lost any feelings I had already.

I wish improving yourself was simple. Where you can get more immediate feedback.

I think I can stand a lot of things. The only thing I can not stand, is being ignored.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.