Dreams upon Dreams

As I've said before, I've been having strange dreams lately. This is a continuation of that.
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The dream starts with me being recruited to Ottawa as art of a special forces team. I did not know it at the time, thinking it just merely a high tech company. However, I noticed that the company was remotely located away from the city and it was next to an all-girl school. Apparently, the girls were trianed as operatives, and each of them were being used to infiltrate other places. Not only that, but this organization was widespread. It was international, maybe interplanetary. THe girls were quite promiscuous, and iI was fresh meat. So there were a couple of casual liasions. (I distinctly remember a Belgium girl named Gretchen. I scored after like a day. This does not seem like me.)

However, a quiet girl really captivated my attention. During training, where I learned to used the portals, the girl was strangely quiet. However, when I talked to her, I quickly drew her out of her shell. However, she still seemed strangely remorseful.

The portals were technology that allowed different appetures to connect through space time. This was the biggest secret of them all in this facility and I was being brought aborad to work on it. The girls use it as a way to infiltrate places easier. I was taken across to some place ( I think mexico, given the dry heat and trees) and was given my welcoming party. The female operatives (who were like university girls) were REALLY welcoming. The girl and I really hit it off, and soon, the whole facility knew that we were together.

What was interesting was that when I was arriving, there was a whole uproar about a band of thieves that disappeared with over 1 billion in cash that was being transported in a secret truck. When we got to the island where they were supposedly there, we found the 2 thieves and the girl looked visibly shaken. However, no trace of the money was found. The girl entered a depression and I couldn't seem to break her out of it.

Meanwhile, we were still having fun on the job, one of which was gocarting around the facility. It was strange, but there was a gocart track in the middle of the facility and I made a bet with a co-worker that a gas engine was faster than his electric anyday. We were playing around. It was fun.

One of the things I learned was that the apeatures were not independently controlled. Gatekeepers were given a set of electronic devices, called keys, that would allow their operation and switch their locations. The one that I frequently use look like a boarded up mirror on the wall that was covered with shutters. Apparently, I was kind of scared for given that much responsibility. I told them if there was a way to not give me any "power" and they said no.

I learned that some of the guys were really outrageous with the female operatives. Some kept being playfully scolded by the members of the East "whatever" team. Like the East China team, East Korea team, East Orion team (this is when I knew it was interplanetary).

At this time, I had a sinking suspicion and the fact that I was her boyfriend, that my girl was one of the thieves on that 1 billion dollar heist. One of the robbers, a supposedly ugly hag used a martial dance that seemed similar to one learned by operatives here. She kept wallowing in guilt.

One day, I was eating in the cafe. This was the room on the most outside of the facility. I heard something and looked around. It was like the door was trembling. The other people didn't notice it. THe chairman of the facility was still eating. I got up and tried to talk to him. However, before I could really talk, I notice that the door was really shaking. And I told him, "get out of here, the water's leaking!". People look at me like I was crazy and I got out the other door just as the door exploded and water torrented out. I slammed the emergency button and was really sorry, leaving those people to their deaths, but it would have ruined the facility. Then, as I was walking back to the main part of the facility to warn them, I see the chairman rush up to me. Fearing that I was going to be killed for leaving the chairman behind to die, I cringed. However, he just held up his key (which is like a small cellphone, or a shuffle. IT really looks like a soft pad with shuffle-like devices and Wii controllers). He told me to listen to it. All I could hear on the other side was breathing noises. It was 20 seconds of this creepy breathing noise before I heard "I'm coming for her". I instinctive knew that this was the last member of the thief heist and he was going to kill my girlfriend.

When I rushed around to try to find my girlfriend, I couldn't find her anywhere in the facility. The chairman had an inkling of where she would be. He told the soldiers to NOT kill on sight and that she was still very important. It would be diasterous for the 4th thief to learn of the apeatures and how we control them, but she was really worth more alive, to me, and the chairman. I activated the apeature I controlled and went onto the island. Just as I thought, I found her within a couple of minutes. She was there, ready to take her own life. I convinced her that there was nothing she could do that would make me stop loving her. She started sobbing as I held her. Then she was sorry for stealing that money and the fact that she used $3000 of it. Only $3000 of 1 billion. Sigh. I told her, let's go home. As we got back to the facility, I pushed her through the apeature again, saying "not, you're visitng the Queen". Apparently, she won a medal of some sort for a mission before and never claimed it. And so we were happy. But that last thief still lurked out there, knowing more than we wanted him to know, but still not in the know like we are about the apeatures, which was a good thing.
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Why is it that my dream life seems more interesting than my actual one? I kind of wish that I was part of that universe. That apeature technology seems cool.

Phases

One of the things I've realized is that I tend to go through phases. Things I like. Phrases I state. Actions I do. All of these changed throughout my life. Each of them make me seem like a different person.

Elementary School: (1-3)
Intelligence: High
Friends/Social behavior: High
Sports: High
Culture Awareness: Low
Girls: Average
Distraction: Reading

Elementary School: (4-6)
Intelligence: High (only in math)
Friends/Social behavior: Low
Sports: Average
Culture Awareness: Low
Girls: Low
Distraction: Medival Stuff. Ancient Weaponry.
Quote: "Ugh"

Junior High:
Intelligence: High
Friends/Social behavior: Medium
Sports: Low
Culture Awareness: Medium
Girls: Low
Distraction: Magic Cards. Computers. SNES (Chrono Trigger and FF3)
Quote: "Bah"

High School
Intelligence: High
Friends/Social behavior: Medium/High
Sports: Low
Culture Awareness: Medium
Girls: Low
Distraction: Realms of Despair (text-only game). Observation of social behavior. Anime. Reading Scifi/fantasy
Quote: "Sigh"

University
Intelligence: High
Friends/Social behavior: Medium
Sports: Low
Culture Awareness: High
Girls: Low
Distraction: Warcraft III, World of Warcraft, Manga
Quote:Swearing..."%$^$^"

I've always had an obsessive compulsive personality. I need something to focus on. And usually, that thing isn't school related unfortunately. But what I have noticed is that while I have grown culturally and socially, mentally I've stayed the same. This is unfortunate. But I really don't have a reason to further develop mental skills. I don't know why, but it is no longer a driving force as it once was, as was the case in Junior High when I crammed math into my head. No clue what the future holds, but from trends, Girls will remain low. Sports will change to medium/low. And distraction will be random.

Oh well.
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I've had a string of weird dreams.

August 26,2006.
I met her at some kind of rally. I forgot what type of rally, but during the rally, through some twist of fate, she fell, and I caught her. The attraction was certainly there. We began dating, and you know what, it was great. I felt...happy. It was strange. (This was funny. Because 1. I'm usualyl not happy. and 2. My friends noticed that I acted happier). But one wonders if I can truly find her. I do remember some features. Bright eyes. Cheerful. Short brunette hair down to her chin. And a very warm smile. Bah. I'm so sappy that even trees would be envious. I don't know. While I was dreaming, it seemed kind of nostalgic. Sigh.

August 28,2006
This was not fully remembered, because it involved a plane that was trying to land on a highway because of an accident. It involved really weird newtonian mechanics that made the plane similar to a bumper car. Most of all, it was strange because I could go back to the dream while falling asleep again after I woke up for 10 seconds. Interestingly enough, this dream was in a sleep period of 14 hours.

Weird.

Anyways. I'm kind of tired. Night all. Or morning.

Complaints? Merely observations and introspection.

A friend of mine recently commented that I do nothing but complain about life here. It is true. I use this page as a way to figure out what is "wrong" with my life and try to figure stuff out. I guess you can look at it as a bunch of complaints, but I don't have anything to complain about really. Life hasn't turned out the way I expected it to, and how could it? I missed so many chances of what I want to do and the fact that I learn my stuff through second hand experience really hampers my predictive ability.

I write because it is a method for me to relieve the worries of life. Nothing more. Could life have been better? Certainly. Could life have been worse? Most definately. Would I trade my life for an alternate history version? Maybe, just for the challenge of adapting to someplace new. But you know what, I'm not really concerned about that.

My own lack of goals? That's my problem. Trying to find a goal that fits your life is usually difficult. Most people don't even know if the dream they persue is really the one they want. The ones I want can't exist in this lifetime. All I can do is keep dreaming I suppose. And write them down. Besides, my timeline has already branched out in a way that my "ideal" life is no longer possible. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Till I see you in my dreams, my dear Valkyrie.

Satisfying life?

How many people out there, would or could say right now, that they have lived life. That they have no regrets? That there are nothing for them to truly regret?

Need a life.

Maybe later.

I do go out. And besides. 39 isn't that hard if you don't die.

and besides...is working at IESO a life? I mean, all that wasted time travelling.

What in life is worth having?

Oh well. Dinner with friend, her friends, her sister and her sister's friends. Hi Lisha!

Meh...I need a haircut.

A good night to all and to all a good night.