Commitophobe

Another week, another rejection. This time, it's because I lack experience. C++ Experience. It's true. As an Electrical Engineer, there are few, if any, chances to practice software skills comparable to those learned by any Computer Science major. And yet, this is what I chose to be. A non-specialized hardware/software hybrid, that lack skills in both departments to make themselves useful. I can generally get a good grasp of ideas of what to do, and how to do it, but when it comes right down to it, I lack actual experience in doing anything it seems.

Yet, when I look at potential jobs and potential skill sets I can learn, I don't usually think of the possibilities that it would open up. That, I already know. It's like I already see each 'advanced' job as a specialized class with prerequisites. Yet, I know if I try to go for any of those 'advanced' jobs, I might miss out on other specialty classes along the way. It's hard to know exactly which one would be the most worthwhile and one that I like the most. I guess in a way, this is a commitophobia. I don't like to commit to things. I'd rather have enough potential to do anything. But that doesn't happen very often in technology. You're either software, or hardware. Hardware is much more specialized, but software requires much more experience.

For each job I see, I see 10 others that I'd miss out on. The gaming industry is certainly interesting and have a lively, young atmosphere, even if it is long hours and your game might suck. The financial industry is where the big bucks are, but is it going to be filled with old people and mathematical models? The hardware industry will always pay for expertise, but make you work long hours (past midnight) and tend to be so specialized, you're ruined for any other job. Account management and business management means that you'd develop people skills, but your technical skills with rust away to nothing. But it does mean you can go to business school for MBA.

I can see the possibilities for each one. But deciding on the one that would be the best...that's the problem.

You know what my dream job is right now? One that's in an industry I like (any of the ones mentioned above), with a corporate culture that's young and lively, in a city (not a town), with people I might know (like old friends) that just moved there and we could explore the city together. Or something. Vancouver would have been excellent, as would Seattle. Los Angeles as well. Whatever. I have to decide on a path. And I can't do it. It's just not in my nature.

I don't feel like writing

There seem to be multitudes of idea swirling in my head right now, but I find myself unwilling to commit them to a cohesive sense on paper. Unfortunately, I must let it out somehow, or I'll find myself unable to absorb new information.


mm...Edamame is delicious. I recently gotten myself several bags and I've run through them.

If I type Kevin with one finger shifted to the right on my right hand, it turns into Levom. Maybe that would be my new handle.

Food security is where its at. Now to make it affordable. No? Maybe its food knowledge. I mean, the nutritional transition is driving people obese.

I really should finish my story and the trailer. So far, I got an outline. But that's it. Oh, and I have to send out more job apps.

I need something to occupy my time. Wikipedia and Dota seem to drain my time, but does not balance the creative aspect of it. I feel used...

Will someone comment? I feel lonely =/ Everyone's working or something. It's just my brain and me. Will someone stop me from thinking!!!

Heh.

Kevin

Salmon Roe Riceball - Ikura Onigiri Craving. =/

It's 3:16am. And I have this craving for a riceball with salmon roe in the middle.

Basically an ikura onigiri. I have no clue why.

All I got is beef jerky and egg rolls though.

Sigh.

Meeting new people

Meeting new people is definitely fun. Learning about different viewpoints, different cultures, a different life, is usually much more fun than anything else because it creates understanding. Bonus if that different viewpoint is from a very enchanting and beautiful woman.

Anyways, but like any other encounter in life, it is a memory. Sometimes I do understand what 'the incredible lightness of being' is about. After all, every event we will ever enjoy only comes once. It is almost as it never was and the event was incredibly 'light'. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, although I think I'd enjoy it more if there was a higher chance that I'd meet them on a continual basis =P. Still, fun!
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I will do that screenplay about JP and his stalker. All I need is enough pictures. I have the music. I'll have to write it out first. I think this will be fun!

Update

Well, I haven't posted in a while, but all of a sudden, I feel like writing at 5:42 AM here in Toronto, so I took my sister's laptop and starting writing instead of sleeping because it is so hot here.

I hate heat. I prefer spring, autumn, winter...just not summer. It's too hot.

So what's happening so far in my life?

Job hunting: definitely one of the active topics. Been sending out resumes and transcripts to the jobs I'm interested in. Unfortunately, the jobs I'm interested in are quite far from my field (or a hybrid of sorts) that I do not have the credentials to be knowledgeable. While I may have the information, I can not accredit it to a course or a co-op term. Like the field of finance for example, or project management. However, I have the knowledge and I've used it in doing labs and my personal life, but meh.

Reading: Reading is always taking someone else's perception of the world and incorporating it into your own world-view. Just finished Harry Potter book 7. Finished it in 7 hours, mainly because it was quite...predictable. It's pretty traditional as a fantasy book, although new fans of the genre who got hyped up on the fumes of the book would think it is new. It's like the people who liked Lord of the Rings because of the movies. The original books were a piece of shit nowadays. I give credit where it is due. It was a great piece of work...for its time. It can be compared directly as a Charles Dicken's novel. Dicken's was paid by the word and was acclaimed in his time as a serial writer. Nowadays, we treat it as a literary masterpiece, but the normal person/fan thinks it is rubbish or too long to read. Likewise, Tolkien reads like he was paid by the word, the world is cliche, and modern sci-fi/fantasy players shun it. A good example/parody of this concept is DM of the Ring.

So anyways. Enough Tolkien bashing, HP 7 was decent. Reading more books like the Tipping Point and Unlimited Power.

Sleeping and TV shows: I think I have insomnia. Bad bad thing. Been sleeping, or lack of sleeping at odd hours. Watching TV through streaming. I watched way too much TV lately. And lots of previously undiscovered webcomics. Interesting stuff, but kind of fluffy. No real substance to it.

Food: I think we (we being Darrick, I and whoever else) should start a food club where we go to a different rated restaurant a week. Not that pricey as we're thinking of going to low cost food places or places with good price/food/quality ratio. We went to Pasta Perfection the other day (at Yonge and College) and it wasn't bad. 10 bucks for decent pasta is good. Although, it wasn't the greatest, it is probably the best we can expect for pasta on this side of the Atlantic for the price. (It's better than East Sides for pasta and lower price point too). Joe suggested a Maid Cafe (which is a cafe staffed with girls dressed as maids, which is a genre in Japanese Cafes, but not really interested) mainly because he doesn't want to go a) alone b) with someone that won't understand. Well I understand, even if I disagree with the sentiment. I won't look it, but I am a food enthusiast at heart.

Training: Weight training. While going to the gym may probably make me bigger, I probably wouldn't go at all, so the basement gym is a compromise. So far, it is working...barely. I work on it less than once a week and less than 30 minutes. I guess I should do it more often.

State: Well, I'm not depressed, but I'm not really happy. Content? Yeah. Just feels like my life's on hold until I find a job. I don't think I'm the person that's totally defined by the work he or she does, but it does help take up a significant portion of time, AND it gives me cash flow, which I'm lacking at the moment. Maybe, just maybe, I'll go to grad school, but only if I can figure out what I'm really interested in.

Jobs again: Two companies have always been at the top of the list. Deloitte, mainly because its consulting work and I'd like to work for a big company, but with a startup atmosphere. Consulting certainly encourages that. Infusion should fit the profile, but I don't fit the profile of its consultant that well. Plus its more specialized than Deloitte. The second interesting company that I recently seen is comScore. Never heard of it until recently, but it is a company that measures the Internet. I like the concept...now I just have to be able to work there.


Cooking: I'm thinking of getting the new Joy of Cooking cookbook that's been rewritten as the 75th anniversary edition.

That's the things that's going in my life so far. I'll update again when there's another significant event.