Undecisive

I feel weak.

You know how girls like reformed guys? The whole converted thing? It's probably because it shows a strong sense of character. Something beyond the natural weak indulgent impulses we take everyday.

Sigh. I feel so weak because of that.

Right now, I have a midterm in less than a weak. And I understand almost nothing. I almost feel stupider somehow. It's like I'm not absorbing anything at all, and I don't know why. Usually, I get concepts and calculations right away, but now it seems like it takes me extraordinary amounts of effort before I could even do simple calculus.

This is bad.

And my sleeping schedule has not improved. I don't know what to do about that. I've been sleeping in the day when I should be working. I think this is all because of my eating habits and lack thereof.

At least I'm getting exercise. That's good. Indoor soccer is indeed very fun.

Anyways, that's enough 'unloading'. Time to study some more.
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Here's a long dream post that I just had a few days ago.

Sometimes I wonder why I remember so many details.

We were fighting space aliens. They had advanced fire power and on the scouting mission, it was me and some other guy who was pretty strong. I was just cunning and intelligent. We snuck by most things and killed some, but at the base of the evil space aliens, we realized we couldn't beat them all. Instead, we had to call for backup.

Meanwhile, we had low range transporter technology. So a group of marines came in and helped us through it. The science guys realized that there were two more 'wormholes' that our transporters could exploit. We sort of realized their 'magic' was affecting our technology.

The problem was that the space aliens were stealing human children for their own neferious purposes.

So somehow, I volunteered for a mission and realized that I had the best survival chance out of the people in the group. So, I ported in to one of the weird wormholes that didn't exist before. And landed in a sick delusionary pseudo world instead because of the weird effect from their 'magic'.

I somehow met the most wonderful girl in the world in a dream, Sera.

Anyways, I was jumped into a pseudo world after fighting a battle against 'evil' space aliens. This pseudo world was a reflection of the real world, but bore no sign of sense. For one thing, magic worked a bit here, which puzzled us in the real world. During my quest to escape the pseudo world, I had to go around and talk to people, like an rpg. At one point, there was this old guy selling charms to girls. Sera and her other girl friend was the only shoppers. The old guy was up to no good (at least what I thought), when the old guy seemed to grin evilly and reached towards the girls. I just jumped in and punched him. He went down, but his cart and his possessions were special. I took his staff, which was a pneunifier of sorts, or something that disrupts magic. Then a witch came, and seemed to mean to do us harm. With a kick, I kicked the cart towards her and she seemed to be pinned by the mass.

Sera and I seemed to both fall in love at first sight.

With the pneunifier, I could disrupt the towers energies. Before, it would zap me and prevent me entry because I'm human. At the top of the tower was something that could turn me something other than human, a rock type creature that could disrupt the plans of the evil space aliens. On the top, I found a cape that render a person invisible, explosive charges and the tablet that turns people to other. I touched it and remarkably felt the same. However, I was told I was no longer completely human. I dropped down and Sera and I share a moment. However, I had to go back to my world. The king, the servant and I all head towards the lighthouse tower at the beach so that we could make the portal. The portal comes randomly, and is made by the robot on the beach, SCALPEL. He makes them randomly, luring people in and sometimes getting them out into the right world. However, he is completely neutral. Meanwhile, I felt that I could not take Sera with me because she is from this world and an NPC. She didn't belong over there. So we all mounted the same horse and galloped over to the portal. We each had one item of power that we were going to carry over. However, we left the cape of invisibility behind because we only had 3 people. The king then said who cares. If its love, you should make the most of it and bring Sera along.

So we galloped back into town. We passed one of those death machines. THe death machines were the King's old evil war machines, which had breadslicer like teeth in the front and killed basically anything. They were just riding as police now, with the return of 'good' to the land. We asked her girl friend where Sera was, and she said that Sera was around here somewhere. I realized, if it was Sera we were talking about, she would go see us off. I turned back to the lighthouse and somehow saw her (even when it is a long long range) climb the tower with a camera on a tripod and her cape. I realized also that we could not make it to the portal with three of us on the same horse. I went so far as to the bridge connecting the mainland and the lighthouse. I got off and told them to go without me. I realized that the Prince that Sera was in love with and I were the same person, but split. A bit of me was scared, but I also wanted Sera and I (the other's) happiness. They went. Sera and the Prince share a moment and head through the portal together, with the King behind them. I rush towards the portal but it was too late, it was closed forever.

The old hag in charge of the lighthouse didn't think it would be possible to open the same one again. I looked down and saw SCALPEL build portals and several people would come through. Then he would build another gate, and the four people would be sent through again.

I tried to reason with scalpel and ask him to open it, but he wouldn't listen. He scooped up the evil stone which turns things evil and looked towards me, seemingly threatening me. However, with that turn, the evil stone fell out and he went back to work, building the portal out of sand. He then scoops up the good stone into the main part of his body, where it couldn't be dislodged and he started to build one for me. However, as I wandered how they were doing, this seemed to pass a few months and I saw a email from them. Somehow email transcedes worlds apart. I ignore the email and saw that some bastards have put a plastic sheet around the sand, which puzzled the hell out of Scalpel. He couldn't pull enough sand to form a complete gate. I jumped down from the lighthouse and landed on the edge of the sand, which was fortunate, else I would have broken my feet. I then rushed to pull the plastic sheet off the sand.
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Sigh. Sometimes I wonder if the world of dreams is better than the world of reality. It doesn't matter though. I doubt you could live in the world of dreams.

Till I see you in my dreams, my Valkyrie, Sera.