Blogging or studying?

I'm so unmotivating. whine whine whine. Okay. That's now out of the way.

So yup. I guess I'm a fanboy of certain things (certain genre of anime, comedies, sci-fi, music, ballads, etc etc.) but sometimes I find that it is within those realms of possibilities that we can absorb extra experience through them. And that is why I love stories about personal growth and journey, even when other people don't like them. The Razor's Edge for example, or Great Expectations, or the Dempster series for books. Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (his or her circumstances), Kimagure Orange Road, and Love Hina for anime. Adachi's Works, such as H2 and Rought, and KKNJ (again) for manga. Two guys and a girl, Friends, and Scrubs for TV shows. 10 Things I hate about you, Garden State, Sixteen Candles, Van Wilder and The Breakfast Club for movies. For fantasy/sci-fi books, the early Harry Potter series (I don't discriminate just because its popular, but it really isn't THAT great), the Recluce series, the Wheel of Time. Makes me uncool. Probably. But I enjoy them. So STFU.

I'm apparently an angry kid. Maybe. Depressing? Maybe. Cynical and realistic? Definately. Idealistic romantic? Definately that too. Paradoxical? Perhaps. I don't know myself. Weird comes up a lot. But aren't we all a little weird? I mean, with the world as it is, I don't know the definition of normal myself. But what I can't be right now would be a happy, bright kid that thinks the world is a place of happiness. Not with knowledge.

Heh. I had a long debate about faith with Joe. We discussed whether I would be happier if I was actually religious. Probably, probably not. I probably wouldn't be able to follow any religion. Because all religions require faith. I have faith in humanity, whether that means humans ultimately have selfish motives, but I do not think I would lightly place blind faith on the supernatural. I'd agree with their ideals, but probably not be willing to follow a religion blindly. And you know what? I think blind faith is probably one of the most dangerous things around. Blind faith requires trust in the unknowable. It may cause people to accept ideas unquestioningly. As an example, let's take an example from the article on the Imprint. Vandalism has occured against GLOW (gays and lesbians of Waterloo). Their reason? Because the bible said that they are "a sin in God's eyes" (which was written as the vandalism message). Is there a reason why these people hate gays and lesbians? For most people, probably not. Some people may feel uncomfortable because they are homophobic. That's okay. No one's asking you to accept them unconditionally. If you're not comfortable with it, that's probably your right. But to hate them just based on faith may be going too far. Blind faith is too much to trust to humans. It can cause so many ideas to be accepted without going through a sanity check.

Now, I'm not saying that people that are in religions are blind sheep. I'm just saying that blind faith places too much power to some people and there will people that will ultimately follow some ideal because of faith without thinking about it twice. And people that won't be afraid to use blind faith to their advantage. Look at the overused example of the Holocaust and Hitler. Blind faith. Slaves are second class citizens. Blind faith. Organized religions are a way for blind faith to be leveraged. And that's what scares me the most. But I guess religions (the set of rituals for placating supernatural things according to Anthropology) help us feel less lonely. But I have to say I can't give blind faith to something that does not exist on this plane of existiance.

Granted, you have to have blind faith in some things. After all, it would really suck if you'd living in fear everyday of your life since our Justice system is not preventive, but reactive. Or the fact that you're driving a gasoline bomb that is hurdling you several tens of meters per second. Even if the explosion doesn't kill you, the kinetic energy might. But stuff like the supernatural? The fact that its supernatural is because it occurs away from this plane of existance. If it was meant to be on this plane, it would be natural.

Haha, probably with this post I'd never again be successful in life. People will brand me a godless heathen with no morals. I have morals. Very high standards too. But they were developed by myself and the principles were by me. To follow divine principles that was created by other people is just not something I'd like to do. My principles and divine principles may coincide, but at least I decided them.

I trust that I'll probably get flamed for this. Go ahead and bombard me with your opinions. I'd either respond if its interesting, or just ignore you if you're being a jackass. Please make sense with your arguments too please.

As I watched Van Wilder for the first time in 4 months because I didn't want to study, and the newest two episodes of Scrubs, I was thinking about the lesson they're trying to teach. One of Ryan Reynolds lines was that "First dates are interviews", and J.D.'s rejection of a girl because he has no future with her, kind of makes me wonder about what the hell are we looking for? Interviews? A companion for life? So should we always spend longer time on searching before you even "waste" any time on another person? or should we just play the lottery and hook up with as many people as we can? I mean, apparently as long as you keep asking, odds are that you will hook up eventually. And with a statistics, the more tries you make, the better your odds that you will succeed.

So at what point does it become settling? At what point does it become desperation? At what point will you just give up? Will anyone do in this world? Is there a thing such as fate in this world? Or does chance rule the world now, with the number of people in the world? Heh, it kinds of reminds me of the thing I wrote, but never finished. I should really start to finish writing it. Only 6 pages, but I think its pretty good. But the creator has no right to say that. But is there a red string in this world? Maybe it should be easier to see, or at least they should tie it tighter to the finger.

Maybe I search too hard, or too little. Maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe I'm too idealistic and too much of a romantic. Heh. Reminds me of something from English class in OAC. That thing with the blind date game was funny. My responses to it was unrealistic and by far too much of a romantic then would be realistic. But I was always too much of a dreamer. Sigh.

Maybe I just listen to too many songs like Abandoned Pools's "Start Over" and Sugarcult's "Bouncing Off the Walls Again". They're still good songs. A good departure from what I usually listen to, and yet still pretty similar.

heh....I think I'd love it if someone could use the line "I went out with a lot of girls before you, but they were just practice before I found you." Maybe its too cheesy, but meh. It makes me laugh.

Wow. Long post. That tells you how much I am not motivated to study.