On a clear day, you can see forever

I feel better than I have felt in a long time. This could be the fact that I've been sleeping better (except in weirder hours) and that I feel more well rested most of the time. For the first time in a long time, I didn't sleep in class!

The previous problem would have to be that I seem to worry a lot about things. Little stuff like paying the bills, large stuff like marks and school, life stuff like life goals and the lack of meaning. I guess in the past few days though, I tried to put it all behind me and try to focus on stuff that I can affect right now, as of this moment. One of the things would hae to be trying for the marks. Academic work isn't that bad. At least its stable and managable.

So I decided on a contract of sorts with myself as an example of will over impulse. This term should be better now. Its hard to be dedicated to an ideal, but it is much easier to be dedicated to something concrete.

So anyways, on wednesday, I went to the LunarFest thing held by Konnichiwa Japan and CASA. I went mainly because Darren said he wanted to go and I did say I'd go. So basically it was just the two of us. We were first in line, like the keeners we were. So we took in the show that lasted approximately 1 hour. It was short, but still much better than the stuff that was in the LunarFest thing held by the mandarin clubs. After that was the opening of the dance, which was basically similar to a basic Fed Hall night. A lot of people came afterwards because all they wanted to do was to dance. As usual the crowd stormed towards the bar. I don't understand the attraction to alcohol. But of course, stuff like clubs and this would need more people you know. No one we really know went besides Darren and I. Only some people in our class that we're not very close to (like Alex and Lawrence. The regular club going group) and some random people that we knew (Walter that I knew kinda in High School, Tiffany that I worked with at ATI, and Tiffany that was Justin's roommate). And I had a lab the next day. Getting drunk and smashed was not something I could afford in money and time. So I left early, like 11:30. Even the bouncer seemed surprised that I wanted to go home. Darren stayed. He left around 1:00. It took him approximately an hour to get his beer (which is surprising, because he doesn't drink). He pretty much just stood there at the bar trying to get the attention of the bartenders. Seriously, if there was 200 people in fed hall, 125 were up at that bar. There were like 25 people sitting around in the lounge area. 25 more people in the booths and 25 more people actually on the dance floor. Apparently the DJ was a famous guy (Baby Yu), but I can't say I really know. He was using a iBook. That's pretty much all I got from the glimpse of the guy behind the DJ booth.

I took a long walk around the campus before getting home. And it was the first time in a long while that I actually felt tired. And I actually slept. Without thinking too much about life. Maybe the secret to life is not to be stressed about anything. In that case, does that mean that we should drift through life without doing anything significant?

I refuse to believe that. I am still clinging to the hope that everyone of us has some sort of purpose. Whether that purpose is important to millions of people or just to that one person, there is still a purpose. I doubt we'd ever really find out our true prupose until we die of old age though, but when the time is right and your worries carefree, it is almost like you can see life and joy in the horizon. Maybe living in perpetual worry and sorrow is not a good thing. Still, most people are stupid in my opinion. But then, that's just me. For most people though, on a clear day, you can see forever.