Freedom!

Yes, maybe yesterday's post was a bit misleading. Anyways.

Freedom.

What does that mean for you? For me, it means that I can do what I want, when I want. It means that I don't have any pressing responsibilities, and it means that I can plan out what would maximize stuff I like and minimize stuff I don't.

It's true that a relationship would strain this. I would have to sacrifice my time, and stuff that I would want to do, when I want to do them. I'll have to sometimes put someone elses need above my own. That may seem selfish and unreasonable, but all humans are selfish. It just doesn't seem like it because the benefits of the exchange may not be easily seen. (Nookie, for example. Heh. I finally used the word nookie. I was wondering how I could even use it.)

What would a relationship bring me? A companion. And yes, I read somewhere that companion means someone to share bread with. It helps me with one condition, loneliness, but also removes my 100% freedom. And besides, in a relationship, I could totally see me as one of those clingy types...something I'd desperately want to avoid. I'm a self-reliant, and probably self-serving, individual. A girl would probably change that. Am I ready to give up my freedom? Yes. But there's a high threshold before I'm willing to change that.

And besides, I graduate in 5 months and I don't even know where I'll end up yet. And people keep assuring me that life would work itself out. I guess it will.
======================================================
And another thing....relationships are just a exchange of necessary things to survive. Whether it be love, trust, material items or other things, each relationship is there because when left alone in this world, most people can't find the strength to survive. Failing that, a relationship is something for people to find a meaning to life to survive on.

Marriage is just the penultimate commitment. However, it is in all aspects, a simply economic exchange. People got married for lots of material reasons. It has been compared to 'legalized prostitution'. And no, I'm not talking about just the marriages where one person is the sole 'breadwinner'. Even when both are out working, the economics of an union comes heavily into account. Up till this century, marriage for economics was common. It was also common for the man to have a mistress somewhere else. Guys married girls for their dowries and/or their titles and connections. Girls married for social circles and acceptability. Nowadays, while this is not immediately evident, we still do that.

Now, that's not to say that every marriage has a mistress or an affair. It is to say however, that we marry for economics. While economics may not seem much at first, it is the little stresses of everyday life that puts the tempering on the sword that is marriage. Like after the ideality of love and living seperately away from your parents (as an example), is living together, paying bills, little annoyances that living together brings really strengthens or fractures a relationship. We marry because of the things that the other partner brings into our life, whether it be money or convenience or even to simply look good. People get together for all types of reasons. This may very well be why we love a certain person, of what they can give you.

And if they don't provide everything, we look elsewhere. With the advent of technology, we have become more and more impatient than ever. Nowadays, we seek instant gratification, rather than waiting for anything. The abundance of information and communication and media have removed our naivete and replaced it with cynicism. Everyday, we hear 'stories' of something that could happen to us. Ever read the "Ask Ellie" section of the Toronto Star? All the depressing stories looking for advice on relationships in this cruel lonely world. Information have become the bane of relationships because face it, the more we know a person, the more we desire them less. Well, not always true, but mostly. Information has caused people to become more cynical and more selfish.

The information age can also be called the "Me" age. With more technology, people become displaced. We don't exactly know our place in the world. Not content with just a single explanation when there are tons on the net, we become weak in our faith in anything. Cults use a variety of techniques to ensnare the lost. While most people think that technology has caused people to lose faith in religion, I think it is the opposite. It has ripped the ignorance veil asunder and caused more people to want a certain place in the world. Something that declares themselves to be special, and failing that, at least loved or know one's place in the world. People either use religion to do this, or a relationship (or relationships).

Relationships are not about giving. It is about taking. Granted, the taking is not for free. It is a trade. Not always an equal trade, but it is there. We go into a relationship expecting a partnership of sorts (most of them anyways). If we don't like what we want, we end it. It is how the other person fits into your life, not how you fit into theirs. Love? Most people don't enter a relationship because of caring. It is most likely because of a primal attraction on some level. And where does that attraction stem from? Sex? Power? We enter a relationship expecting some things. If we don't get it, we're out of there. That is what the economics of marriage amounts to.

It is also why divorce rates are so high. When you have gotten what you want from the other partner, you just dump them. The reasons why it didn't happen before was a) the social stigma attached to divorcees and b) people did not just care only about themselves and c) people were more naive and less cynical.
=================================================
Well, what a rant about relationships. I don't really believe what I wrote up there. Well, I do and don't. The practical side of me agree, while the romantic idealist doesn't. I guess that's what I get for being born on the cusp of Taurus and Capricorn. However, if (when or if. It's hard to say) I do get a relationship, it would need to be meaningful and serious. I really can't see myself in a light relationship. However, I'd probably be blinded at that point and the practical side of me would probably melt. The above would probably be forgotten. Until 2 years later, when the chemcials of passions have faded. Ahh, ever the pessimist right now. But that's only on the surface. I'm quite the optimist right now. That I'd graduate and meet someone. That's quite optimistic you know.

As for the whole grad school thing. That would be the next post.

Good night and sweet dreams. Till I see you again in my dreams, my Lady.