Uncertainty

There's so much I want to write about right now. But I don't know where to begin. Thoughts are racing through my head because each of them are a distinct little kernal of thought of varying topics and direction.

I think my biggest problem is uncertainty right now.

The crushing weight of it is almost like despair. I have no clue what I want to do with my life and no idea of where it's heading. For me, change is good, but when I think that my decisions in the next year or so will dictate where my life will mostly likely head towards, I freeze up.

There's just so many decisions that I can't make right now because I don't have the data.

Not knowing what one's path in life is is always a disappointment and a bit scary. I mean, do I go to grad school, or a job. If grad school, which program? if job, which field? and location? and meeting new people? how about girls? looking for a girlfriend usually involves meeting that person right? There's a lot of things I don't know. Choices are great, but when faced with a multitude of choices, it may become a lack of direction.

Heh, sometimes I wonder if I was a bit more unfortunate, would I have done better. That way, I would have less choices and more passion in what I do. Maybe, but that is in the realm of could have been and have no relevance to the now. So. I wonder what I should do.
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Writing all this probably makes me less mysterious (and less attractive by association), but it is a method of expelling emotions and feelings that seems to work very well. Yesterday's post might seem a little bit extreme, but it has helped control it. I don't know what happened yesterday, but I feel better today.
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Well, there's a lot more I do want to write, but this is it for me today. I need sleep. Good night and sweet dreams.