Cleaning up my act

Well, I guess I should clean up my act. For what? I don't know. For who? I don't know. All I know is that if I keep doing this, all I'll have at the end is a whole bunch of empty promises and nothing substantial. Although one can argue what exactly is substantial in this world.

My writing is colloquial according to Lisha. She's probably right in this regard. My story is trying to portray the growth of character rather than advancing the plot. While this is good for semi-autobiographical stories, it is a crappy style for science fiction or epics. I must therefore rewrite the entire thing and restructure it. I'm now 12 pages behind, and I haven't started at all.

What is wealth? What is life? What is purpose? Can we exist without purpose? Or do we become ghouls at that point...zombies that just wait until true death?

I don't feel motivated to clean up my act. But unless I clean up my act, I doubt I'd be motivated to do anything. What a catch 22.

It's already in the middle of november. What I have to do:

Apply for the job that I want. (The GE phd study thing)
Look for grad schools.
Look for a Nintendo DS lite.
Finish FYDP report.
Write 12 pages for story.

I'll stop playing WoW sometime. I really should. Sigh. But I need a timesink. I guess I could play DOTA again. The fact is, it helps me away from thinking about other stuff. I guess games are my equivilent of alcohol. Although, no matter how many games I play, I doubt I'll achieve the 'beer-goggle' effect. Wait...a girl that plays video games? That is the 'beer-goggle' effect right there.

This is so depressing. Apparently I'm no better than an alcoholic. Spare me.

Another thought recently. I want to write a letter to my future self. That way, I can see how 'brilliant' or 'stupid' I was several years ago. I don't recall my dreams and aspiration from 10 years ago, when I was 12. That was sad. But I also realize I wasn't observing as much. Not the observer I am now. I had action back then. Truly, does conscience make cowards of us all.

Anyways. I saw a cool blood red moon on friday. That was cool. I wonder why, but it's really pretty.

I was clicking around lavalife, and I was checking their descriptions out. When you're cornered by choices...it makes you look hard at the descriptions you can set for yourself. Try it sometime.

Therefore, from the options: I'm a honest, shy and impulsive guy that's a sucker for a cute smile that values loyalty and a curious mind.

I wonder what else is new? I don't know. Oh well. Here's a cute picture.

I think the cat is cute!

Oh yeah, do I have to set a life/thought-provoking question here before people respond to me or write comments? Here's mine:

"At what point in a relationship do you think getting married is the next step?" - By the way, this is not a competition. I'm just curious about what people think. Ie. Just dating for several months? Living together for several months? Or are you people going to chicken out and say 'when it feels right'.

Anyways. Good night. Sweet dreams. And may you always find your way through darkness and light. Till we meet again, my Valkyrie.