Saturday, August 21, 2010

What to do now?

If you didn't know, I'm posting most of my adventures in Baltimore in my new blog:
A King in America (akinginamerica.blogspot.com).

This blog will remain my emo side.

So yeah. Where to start?

Right now, I'm in a situation where I don't know if I should ask out the girl or not. I'm apparently clueless when trying to read signals. Timing is everything...in everything. So trying to time it right is hard. And since I don't really have any classes or groups or ANYTHING in common with her schedule, bumping into her randomly would also be hard.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just do it, even if the probability of success would be low, just to get it over with. Then I don't want to because that would mean that I wouldn't be with her if I do get shot down. Boo to that. I want to maximize my chances here.

Okay. Enough emoness. I think I'll just work hard and see if I can do anything about my love life later I suppose.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Technology Ruins Romance

Sometimes, I wonder if there's such a thing as fate or destiny.

But we seldom get to test it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIiW0Trk3T0

But to tell you the truth, I really have no excuse. I have known her for a while, but I haven't done anything. I guess I was trying to avoid drama or any awkwardness. But no reward without risk right?

It's kind of a moot point though. I'm leaving in less than 3 days. In a new place, two years can change a lot of things. Maybe we'll meet again in two years. Haha, but then again, technology would ruin the romance because we'll constantly keep in touch.

But she makes me want to be a better person. Mainly because I respect her abilities a lot, even if she doesn't see it.

Well, we'll see what will happen in a few days. There's time now I suppose.

See you in my dreams, my dear Valkyrie.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Excited

I am excited.

Less than 3 weeks and I'm gone from Toronto, about to embark on a new adventure to last for 2 years.

I've register a new name for a new blog to document my time there. This will still reflect my journey through life though.

I apologize for the lack of updates. I've been busy procrastinating and just generally wasting time and hanging out with friends. I realize I do have a lot to be thankful for.

Nothing really out of the ordinary has happened besides the things listed. I guess I'll update when something happens. But like that quotation from A Moment With You, "the moment before anything happens, that's perfect.", maybe this is the perfect time. I'll make damn sure it doesn't go downhill from here.

See you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I haven't really been doing anything.

But there has been changes.

I got into Johns Hopkins. I got a job. Work is interesting. Everything is working out.

My photography is going as expected. I might have to get rid of some of my lenses. I think I have too many. Need to reduce the count.

But I don't know, maybe it's pessimism, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I'm waiting for disappointment somewhere. I've even stopped playing most video games. And all I've been doing nowadays is manga and comedy programs. Maybe my manga is a searching thing to try to find meaning by looking at different perspectives of life. My favourite mangas are those slice of life ones anyways. My nightmare would probably be finding out that this is all life really is. Nothing special, nothing standing out in particular. All I can do is hope and wish that this is not the case.a

Maybe I'm overly concerned about the meaning of life. I'm starting to think that I have not reached the point where I can look at myself and say that I have achieved something in life. Granted I'm still young (at least that's what everyone keeps saying), but I have friends that have much more experience than I do, whether it be in management, work, life or money. I am not jealous, as they have paid for their experience in various ways. However, I just feels my experience just doesn't feel as deep as others. Maybe I haven't suffered enough.

Well, I'll be shooting with my 70-200mm IS mk ii for a while to get rid of this ennui.

Enough about that.

But I have had a lot of interesting conversations with people down near the islands. I talked about climate change with the island ferry fare collector. Very interesting 45 minutes.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

freedom

What does it mean? I'm at liberty now. That means I have freedom to do whatever I want. Why is it that I don't seem to make much of my time though?

I've been reading a lot. It seems like I'm reading entertaining reference books and serious manga. The reference books in particular are about photography and guides to Las Vegas, whereas the manga is all about life, the meaning of life, and the paths that one might take in life. The irony of this juxtaposition has not escaped me, but it really isn't that comical. To me, manga is just another form of media. To say that it can be both serious and comical is nothing new to me, while it may surprise most newcomers to the genre who only see Pokemon and Dragonball.

In particular, Solanin seems like the manga that most parallels my life so far. It's about the angst of people in their mid twenties, trying to figure out what they want in life.Personally, I don't know. People in that manga doesn't know. It's more about the people in it trying to live their life. While most manga holds audiences captive through escapism, this manga seems to hold audiences captive through voyeurism. Or maybe it is empathy. It's hard to tell.

Hopefully I get in to Johns Hopkins. Also need a job it seems.