Saturday, December 30, 2006

Weird dreams really don't make sense. I wish there are books that can decipher them.

Even in dreams I don't seem to get the girl.

There's a multitude of plot lines, and I don't remember most of it. Some are quite disjointed. I do remember though that a pretty white girl that was in a beauty contest had a huge crush on Wen. Except his name was Wen Ng, even if I know in real life that his last name is Zhang. Weird. Her personality wasn't the best, but she was quite friendly and optimistic in ways that count. I remember I found out because I somehow saw a small 'invitation' card that had Wen's name in a small heart shape thingie. I was kind of wondering why she hung out with us so often.

Also, went with this girl to some other type of concert, and I never made a move because she was my friend and I didn't want to jeopardize that. THere was a huge thing on negotiations and how that you really should drop everything if someone was willing to go into negotiations with you. And we were in a long line to a nightclub. Very exclusive. Somehow their technical team messed up something and the line stopped moving. So they hired P. Diddy (although he looked like Usher) to calm the line down. P. Diddy was apparently recording a CD called "One Word Down" and dropped it because negotiations was offered to him. Also there were ideas of a contract between this corporation and my friend.

However, he was only handing out Roots gear on the ground floor of the line. We were on the roof part of the line already, which was a 3 hour difference. THere was a bit of avarice that I actually wanted to get some of the crap down there (I couldn't care less about P.Diddy), but I stayed in line.

The second part of the dream was much easier to remember. A bunch of us started to frequent a Chinese Bar/Restaruant type establishment. However, it wasn't doing so well. We were friends with the owner, a forty-fifty year old woman. She was complaining about how people would drink a bit here, but never eat here. There were two sides to her place. It was a bit cafeteria like and the first part of the establishment were pretty high chairs in a bar type like setting. Most people apparently drank a bit there and that's it. They never go towards the back for the restaurant part, or the food portion of the place. Apparently, I point out that club goings are weird and that they'd drink abit here but they would always go to the 'Dragon' to eat instead, which was a few doors down. They weren't that great a restaurant, but they were 'nice' and the lighting was bright. Pink tablecloths, traditional chinese cuisine. IT was weird that club goers would even go there to get food there. Anyways, I suggested changing the bar and the restaurant part around, having the entrance open up to the restaurant might inspire people to eat there. Opening to a bar may get some people to drink, but it usually gains a reputation as a place to drink rather than a place to eat unless you're a franchise. Then a charity? a band? called Western Hemisphere (Actually, it was a cardboard sign that said

Western -----> 400000
World -----> 4000000

I never got that. I thought it was a charity band. Anyways, they were in charge of serving the cafeteria style food before (which was another change I mentioned to the owner). They wanted to have a live band. WE had them audition and they were pretty horrible. There was only one instrument on at a time and the five of them couldn't really carry a tune. They were crappy. We told them that a band has to emphasize and draw people in. It had to be a notch above mainstream pop to get people to come. Mainstream pop could be bad, but people can ignore it, but a house band can't be ignored because it is simply much louder.

Then I woke up.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Growing up.

I must admit that to myself, it seems I have become desperate. I'm doing more things for the 'social' part of my life more than ever. I've committed to working out. Trying to learn about cooking. I'm going shopping for clothes (only rarely, but its a step towards another direction). Wanting to go out rather than staying at home playing video games. Video games are losing its appeal and the appeal of stories seem to dominate. My interest in video games have seem to wane.

However, so have many other interest seem to wane. Does this mean I'm 'finally' growing up? Perhaps. I think it could be that I've finally realized that in order for the world I want to live in to occur, I'll have to make it myself. Right now, I don't know what I want yet, so I have to keep my options open.

According to game theory (that book is pretty good to read. It's interesting and it helps analysis of psychological behavior), when you lack options, you actually have more power. So maybe I shouldn't open my options too much. But I like to be prepared for anything.

I don't know what my life holds in the next four months. I doubt I can cram as many things as I want into it, but I think I'll try my best. Too bad I learn too many of my life lessons too late and I grow up damn late compare to other people. Heh, I'm finally hitting university age as I leave university. Sometimes my sense of preservations annoys me. After all, being always on the safe side isn't the best way through life. Without risk, there are no great rewards.

You know what though, I think that one of the ways to map out life interests can be shown as a technology map like in the Civilization 4. There are technological trees in different directions and sometimes you can take 'techs' even without being of that tree before hand. Sometimes you just skip a tech because it poses no interest or value to you. I think I took the 'technological enhancement' tree (nerd tree) as opposed to the 'atheletic enhancement' (jock) or 'socialogical enhancement' tree (socialite). There are some common stuff like cooking that I'm going to take. But there are some, like clubbing, that I've put research points into and then skipped because it took too long to research (or enjoy). I think right now I will have enough support techs so that the (search or) research into the 'relationship' tech will not take as long. Boy, is this paragraph geeky! Oh well, it's been well established that I don't think like other people much and I like thinking in different frameworks. Apparently, according to game theory, sometimes it is much more advantageous to be insane than to be sane. To take risks that are not 'worth' it. I think that being imaginative is definately a good thing.

Now if I can apply the same work ethic as writing this 'blog' to my writing of my report...

I also had a weird dream before Edwin woke me up this morning. I forgot to write it down. It was weird in that the plot was semiweird, but there was a new concept in it. Uplifting. It was like ... converting yourself into ghostform and going into some other person. It was a joining of minds, but not really. It was much more... intimate than that. Anyways, it was definately interesting, a bit weird and I wish I could understand it better. Although understanding something in dreams is not usually 'worthwhile' it sometimes opens the mind to new possibilities and new frontiers.

Oh well. A good night to all and to all a good night. Till I see you in my dreams, my dear Valkyrie.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Game Theory

Day 1.

Learn Game Theory.

Day 2.

Apply Game Theory to socializing. Actually, the area of guy-girl interaction and how this affects it theoretically.

Day 3.

Write About it.
So far, after 5 minutes, this book seems more interesting. Not because I have nothing else to read, but it is actually interesting.

I'll write more later.

Longing for the good ol' days...

Fuck fuck fuck.

No matter what, when I see some old stuff like Love Hina, I am somehow reminded of the 'good ol' days'. When we had no responsibilities and the future seems wide open. We were able to become anything. Old anime, books, music just trigger something in me that makes me think that the past was better. Was it really better, or did it seem better because of all the 'possibilities' that was still open to us? Was it because that life seemed better because we had little to no consequences to our actions? Was it because that the past was truly better because we didn't know better?

Was the past better? The uncertainty of teenage life? I guess there is a lot of things that are even more uncertain now, that we tasted a bit of life. This attitude is depressing. I'm supposed to try to cure myself of it. Don't look at the past. My memory is spotty as it is. Granted, the only things remaining are usually the good stuff, but look towards the future! The future! Even when it is uncertain, we have to look at the future!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Resolutions being prepared.

There are things that sound stupid by the light of day, and there are things that sound stupid no matter what. This would be one of those things that is the latter. Mainly because I'm tired, yet I want to write. I have not been doing a lot of writing lately, and I should really finish up my report, but I have not gotten around to it. This is a travesty.

My resolutions have been set. My plans have been finalized. There are four months left until my undergraduate life is over, and supposedly my real life begins. However, why in the world am I imagining that I would be one of those single people that would stay single until they're 40s or maybe even later? My imagination sometimes sucks. Or maybe I'm naturally pessimistic? I don't know why, but I get into these funk moods from time to time. Maybe most of the time, but still. I guess it's because I have had so few successes in this arena of life that makes me apprehensive about imagining about anything good that I just can't imagine it. My mind and its excellent plan analyzation and simulating powers is defeated by the lack of data. Data from fiction and books can't really fill in the gaps this time unfortunately.

Hence, the resolutions. I must improve myself before, as Edwin so eloquently put it, I "put myself on the market". I must improve myself physically and mentally. My outlook should be better suited. I guess I just never liked myself physcially. Not surprisingly, since that's the aspect of my life that I put the least amount of effort towards. Therefore, I must like myself before I go further. This will therefore be my goal for the next month.

Sometimes I wonder if doing something once would make you bored of it. I think sometimes if you never do something, it festers and make you want to do it because you don't know how good (or bad) it would be. I guess sometimes life is like that. I guess I think I'll have to try a lot of things in order to tell myself what I really like. Unfrotunately, you can't do that with girls. Girls are people too and you can't treat them as solitary experiences. Too bad. Am I being too analytical about this? I think so. Maybe that's the problem.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Balance - Creation and Destruction

My thought is that there is balance in this world. And that we must maintain a balance. Extremes go against the law of thermodynamics. Like anything else, I do believe that balance must exist in the world, because extremes take too much time and effort to maintain.

People agree that there is a balance between evil and good, chaos and order. But how many people talk about the balance between creation and destruction. I'm the only person I know that classify things in creation and destruction. I view destruction as something I do to things other people have created. This applies for things such as watching TV shows and reading books. Even eating... I sincerely believe that we have to live a life of balance. For everything I read, eat, watch, appreciate, feel, sense, experience, I believe that I have to create in response to it. I need to balance it out. Writing it as a record, or writing in general is the simplest way for me to 'create'. Thus, this is why I write so much. It's not because I particularly like writing, but because I feel that my life would not be balanced otherwise. Of course I want to be heard, but that's just a collonary from wanting to be special. I want to be read so that I would have an impact on other people's lives. I guess I'm partly OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I believe that the only way we can live in a fulfilling life is to balance things. Love, hate, creation, destruction, experience, dreams, reality, synthesized artifice, beauty, ugliness, joy, pain, hope, despair, light and darkness. All of these must be balanced for our lives to work out. I think so far, I have yet to discover pure hatred, and thus, I cannot discover true love. Likewise to despair and pain. Oh well, I guess it's only a matter of time.

But the idea of good and evil inherent in humans? I subscribe to the philosophy of random distribution. Most people are neither good or evil, mostly neutral. Others may be slightly more 'good' and others slightly more 'evil'. I do believe that there are people that are unredeemable, those that are totally evil. Likewise, there are people that are totally good. It's just a matter of distibution. With the population on earth, it would be surprising if there aren't people that are totally 'good' and those that are totally 'evil'. It's just that both the people in the extremes tend to die young. =p.

Me? I'd have to say I'm leaning more towards the darkness. Darkness doesn't automatically mean evil. I recognize it, and I control it. There are times when I must admit that my anger gets the best of me. But this almost never occurs. I would like to study the darkness of the human heart. I love the theme of the dawn - of redemption. There is no comparison of light without the darkness. It is because there is free will that the good stands out. I guess people won't understand my fascination with the darkness. I just hope they realize that the easiest way to see something is to contrast it with its opposite. I doubt I'd ever want to put any diabolical plan forward. I would like to think I'm too empathic to do anything like that. Oh well. Enough talking about this for now. I suppose I'll revisit this topic later. Good night.

Monday, December 25, 2006


In a way, people long to feel special. People long to be loved. To not be lonely. We want to love because it is only then can we be loved back. People want to be loved because then we are 'unique'. We are no longer alone. People don't want to be reminded that they are insignificant. That they are replacable, disposable. That people are ultimately no better than animals. While some of us can be classified as 'extraordinary', would history remember them? We just want to preserve ourselves in at least a few people so that we can 'live' on in their memories.

Does this loneliness make us strong or weak? People have been talking incessantly about the strength of love, but doesn't that just mean we're weak when we're alone? I think the strongest people are the ones that can survive loneliness? Pretty much anyone can blossom in the view of others, but how many can blossom alone? Does it mean those that have love are not necessarily weak, but those that want love are weak indeed? It means that those that like love are strong enough but those that need it are desperate. In that case, I think I've been going about it the wrong way. While I think I can indeed survive loneliness, I do crave companionship. Does that mean I'm weak and desperate? I'll admit I'm weaker when I don't have my peers to give me drive. I will acknowledge that. But until then, I think I'll be quite comfortable alone. However, I doubt I'll accomplish as much.

So why am I typing this at Christmas? Because I'm not going out this entire holiday season it seems. Most people already have plans and I think most of us have grown apart. None of us need each other anymore. I think that's a good thing, even if it does make me feel a bit lonely and sad.

And now for another boring ranting section about what I think I want. It keeps changing, I guess, because of lack of resolution and the fact I haven't met her. You know what, because of my competetive spirit, I'd probably want a girl that would discuss things with me and have small little fights that won't escalate into something drastic. But I'm so shallow that appearance would have to be a factor, as well as being a bit adventurous and have the soul of an explorer. Intelligence would obviously need to be a factor, as I am definately impatient with people =/. But I can't start looking now. Right now, I can't seem to offer anything onto the table. As my friend said, I'll need to improve myself before I can even start looking. The current me has always been built for academic pursuits and thinking. I've invested no time into physical or social realm. This is probably the time for me to 'grow' into that direction.

About impatience, I just always seem to assume that a person has a similar knowledge base as I do. That may be why sometimes I get annoyed at ignorant people and why there is a gap between myself and my parents. They grew up in a time that's different than me, as well as having a knowledge base different from me. That is why although I love my parents, I don't really have anything in common with them. Unfortunate, but that's okay.

What does the future hold? I keep thinking that I wasted my life. Yet, if movies and TV shows are any judge, the world (in my opinion of course) would be a worse place if I was never born. But you know what, I'd have to think that in the course of total human history, I'm not very significant.

My wish I guess, is to have significant impact on history. Or a larger number of people. I could say that working as an engineer, I'd have a small impact on a large number of people. I'd like to have a more significant impact on a similar number of people. That is what my goal of being an author is about. But life will have to wait, because time will tie us differently, in fates and weaves that are unseen by our eyes, but felt with our entire bodies and souls.

Another Christmas have come and passed, but strangely I feel the same. I don't know what I feel. The passing of time is constant. Time ages all things, friendship, relationships, people. People just change and grow apart. Idle time just makes people grow apart rather than closer. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Maybe if it was a known short length of time. But otherwise, people just grow apart with absence. Rituals shared, events shared, and especially shared memories are what makes people grow closer. Because we are inherently made of memories, dreams and thought. That is why I love Robert Jordan's quote in the Wheel of TIme series, "Thought is the arrow of time, and memory never fades." It is later in life do we realize how true this is. Too bad we almost always learn our lessons too late in life. That is why I long for knowledge. Knowledge that will help us and shape us. I think that is why I always want to learn. If I had infinite time and the means to do so, I would be an eternal student. Too bad I don't have the means, unfrotunately. So I hope for the next best thing, to be important to many more people.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Dreams. weird!

Weird stuff. Another weird dream.

This time, I had several perspectives. At one point in time, I felt like I was my daughter. She said what different parents I have. This comes after the fact that her mother and I found a home pregnancy kit in her room, and instead of spazzing on her about it, her mother took it and used it and found out she was pregnant again. I was very happy at the news.

Then there was the time that everyone in the neighbourhood school (Kingslake in this case) was still pretty full and the kids were outside making little scultures out of straws to create 3D dioramas of stuff like animals. Now, I say Kingslake, because it felt like it, but the outside structure of the school was a bit different.

So I went in, and heard the principal come out and start singing O'Canada. After stumbling a bit after not singing it for so long, I found out that James, a buddy of mine that I haven't seen since third grade, was helping out as a judge. I built a small diorama on the spot, but he realized that I wasn't really building a diorama, but a frame for the animals on my front lawn, which was across the street from my school. I was there, so I decided to ask something about the records they keep at the school. I wanted to find out the last name of the girl I knew in third grade. The one that transferred in during the start of the year, but left by the end. Her name was Angela.

So anyways, while I was still preceiving from the point of my daughter, I (in my own body), was behind her mother and was just holding her. My daughter made a slight retching sound.

And that's when I woke up.
Weird. Last day. Anyways, will post Montreal trip #3 later.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Bringing attention to this again.

If people haven't filled this out for me yet:

Johari Window

It is under the name riellanart (for me). Just something to do.

Montreal Post Day 2.

So after the first day, we decided to go to many different places. Actually, we wanted to know what Dennis' group was doing. We found out where his group was staying and went to their apartment building. It was not that far, but it still took 5-10 minutes of driving to get there. It may seem far, but we were driving along inner streets, so that limited our speed quite a bit. When we got there, I felt that their hotel was nice, a lot of things were 'inclusive' but ours was still better in terms of location in my opinion. They were upstairs in the gym, to which I wonder why theywere in Montreal at all. They told us that they were going to stay and not have lunch with us. They were still 'full' from the complementary continental breakfast and didn't want to shell out too much for lunch. Jeff still promise to come, if just to see people.

So we went to lunch, and the other group came. We talked for a bit and ate our lunches. I ordered a double hamburger. It was good, but could I really justify the 14 dollars it cost? Not really. So while it was a decent place, it was too expensive to be considered good. Afterwards, we decided to go to the Bio-dome. It was around 2:30 at this point.

When we got to the Bio-dome, it was 3:30. It closes at 5 so we had very little time. The ticket seller assured us that it wouldn't take that long for us to see everything. So we
decided to go around and check each of the sections out as fast as possible. We saw the tropical rainforest. The Canadian wetlands and surroundings. We then saw the aquariums which were awesome. And then there were the penguins. During this time, we were supposed to rendevous with the other group, but they were quite slow. Anyways, here's some pictures:

A small flamingo like bird.

Val playing on slide, like a kid!

Look. Penguins DO lay eggs.

"Sir, please let us have some breeding females." "No."

After this, we were supposed to have a dinner reservation for around 7:00. SInce it was only 5:00, we decided to do something else. As we really didn't know what to do, we decided to go Bowling. So we took out the handy GPS of Val's and decided to look for a bowling alley. The problem was that there were only two locations. The one we knew existed for sure was on the other side of the island. So we drove to the one stated by the GPS. When we passed it, we had no luck.

We found another one that the GPS did not list immediately and set out for that. After keeping our eyes peeled around us for any sign of a bowling alley, I remembered how Newtonbrook's Bowlerama was located underground and I found it just as we passed it. We went downstairs only to find out it was a 5 pin place, which we did not want to go to. It was after finding this alley that we realized that Salon de Quilles means bowling alley in French. So we sought to find another bowling alley, only this time, we use the term Salle de Quilles as the term to search. We found another one in the GPS, and set out for it. We went up and down PieIX quite a few times.

After driving for a while, we decided to ask for directions. We had to stop at a Shell and ask for directions. As we were in the no english territory of the city, we had to ask Sameer to ask for directions. When he went in, we drove a bit off and parked somewhere else so that it seemed like we ditched him. We did see Sameer run out and look in bewilderment, but only for a moment, because he spotted usright away, even though it was dark and we were sandwiched in between two cars.

The station keeper did know of another place, but it was a bit ways off, and he didn't know if it was still there. We drove to the intersection he said it was on, but we couldn't find it. We parked, and we went inside a McDonalds to ask, but they had no clue what we were talking about. Even with Sameer's French, we had to beg for a retreat.
So we decided to go to one last one that the GPS system stated. After driving around there, I was the one that spotted it again. This time, in the basement of an apartment building. So Eric takes the professional bowling ball and gloves that he has in the back of the trunk and we head down. Lo and behold, we find a ten pin bowling alley. However, it is still with the small balls. We decided to either bowl there or try to ask the owner whether he knows where we can find one with normal sized balls. This was because it was already 7 and we planned to eat dinner by 8. We opted for the latter option. We asked in broken french, and he gave us directions. We left and searched again.

One thing we noticed was that there was always a SQA when we were looking for a salle de quilles. The SQA was the local alcohol committee, similar to our LCBO. Anyways, after another 20 minutes of driving, we finally saw our 'Holy Grail'. It was a Laurentian bowling alley. Eric took out his professional bowling ball and gloves and we each had two games. I averaged above 100, so it was pretty good.

Eric teaching Val how to grip the ball properly.

Afterwards, we decided to head back to the Hotel first and get something to eat. We were already pretty late and the others had opted to eat without us. We decided to let Sameer lead us to something to eat. However, he did not eat with us because he needed to go have Shisha with the other group since they didn't arrive till today. We got to a Thai place called Thai express. However, they did not take visa, so Val did not want to eat there. We went next door to an Italian place called Boucarries or something like that. Nothing on the menu really appealed to us. Sameer saw some of his old roommates, which were all pretty good looking girls. Dang, I wish I lived in a townhouse with these girls. Anyways, so we decided to bail on this Italian place. As we walked down the street, I vetoed all the souvlaki places because cheese usually doesn't agree with me very well. So we walked back for the CIBC. I needed some cash since I was completely out. Val did the same thing. Sameer parted ways with us at this point, to meet up with the other people. We decided to go down his path to see if we could find any better restaurants. After walking for another 20 minutes and using the GPS, we had no luck. It was 10 oclock, and most restaurants were closed. We passed by some weird Italian place and a club like thing. We passed by a bar or two with nice menus and then we saw the Shisha group with Sameer leading the way. They looked surprised to see us. We explained our situation and we just decided to go in to that bar. We sat down. It was pretty deserted and there was hardly anyone there. When he asked what we want, we decided to order food. It was only then that he told us that the kitchen has closed since 9. The only thing we could get were drinks. We decided against that and set out in the cruel cold world once more.

We met the other group again, and they were laughing at us at this point. Oh well. WE decided to walk back to the Thai place. Took us another 20 minutes, but we made it. I ordered the pad thai while the rest order General Thai's chicken (a variant of General Tso's) and fried rice. It wasn't bad, but the cooks were distinctively Cantonese. I heard them speak it. Their system of cooking was interesting. Everything was organized in small bowls and it was an assembly line process. One mans the cashier. The other picks out the ingrediants while 2 cooks were always cooking out dishes. It was fresh, quick and delicious.

So after eating, we decided to buy alcohol from the supermarket. It was before 11 so it was okay. I got Unibrowe's collection beer. 12 assorted beers while Eric got Labatt Blue. We drank some from mine, which was weird. There was one that had 9% alcohol called "The End of the World". That was interesting. By this time, it was already around 1. The others were at Foufon Electronique and we decided to go as well. We flagged a cab and it took us around 15 minutes to get there. After getting there, we find out that most of them went home, but Sameer and two others were still there. So we went back to Foufon and sat for a while. Val and I decided to head back as it was late and so we hoofed it home. Took us another 30 minutes, and then we went to bed for an ending to a good day in Montreal.

Day 3 will be posted later.

I guess its time for me to sleep. Good night and sweet dreams, my Valkyrie.

Getting drunk is a bad idea.

So yeah. I think I learned my lesson.

Yesterday was supposedly the last watpub event of the year. It was at Minglewoods in downtown Ottawa. Bojan and I arrived there around 10-20 minutes later than 9:30, the designated time, but we could not see anyone else there. So we went inside. Went to the second floor. Got us a pitcher of Rickard's Red. Starting drinking. We talked about various things, including picking up girls at bars. Said it was easy, depending on location. I wouldn't know. Never tried it.

Bojan decided to go downstairs so I was sipping a mug by myself. When he got back up, he told me how the bouncer told him that it was 2 dollars to come up. It's like, what? We've been here thirty minutes ago and there wasn't stuff like that. He came up by saying that he needed to grab his jacket. He came up and sat down. Said that they wouldn't actually come up to get him to pay 2 measly dollars.

So we started drinking again, and our first pitcher was gone, so we grabbed another one. This goth girl comes up to Bojan and starts discussing music with him. They were discussing goth rock and goth music. I don't know much about it so I just listened. After a while, the bouncer DID come up and ask Bojan for the 2 dollars. Seeing no way out of it, he gave the two dollars. The girl left after we poured her a drink from our pitcher. Kristen came around, and she didn't find many people either. Talked a very small amount, and she left. Bojan decided to get tequila shots. Which we did, to my regret. We left after that because it seemed pointless to sit around. He wanted to go to a nudie bar, so he asked directions from the bouncer. I disagreed. We waled along Rideau for awhile, going past Parliment. He had the bright idea of pissing on Parliament, which we avoided, because there were two or more police/secuirty cars on us at all times. We did take some pictures though.

Then we walked along the street down to Albert I believe, between which we did piss on the street outside a building that specifically said "Don't park your car here". Since it didn't say anything about pissing, we did that. And then we got on the 97 bus. It goes to Bayshore. After a few stops, he got off, to transfer to another bus. I was feeling quite bad at this time. The alcohol took a while to trigger, but when it did, I couldn't handle it. The swerving motion of the bus did not help either. So when we got to Bayshore, I was very out of it. I puked. Three times. Good thing there was no one else on the bus. I ran out. (Ran is the operative word. It was more like a scrambling, swerving mess of a walk). Sat down to wait for the 96. Sat down and kept falling 'asleep' and puking into the garbage can. Then noticed that the 96 did come, but it was going in the wrong direction. Only after another 10 minutes did I realize I was in the wrong bay for the 96. So I went to the other side of the station. Waited another 10 minutes before the 96 came. Went on, and it was hazy from here on. Got out at the right stop and walked home. I was really smashed at this point, can't walk in a straight line and my mouth felt awful. Got home in like 20 minutes of walking and basically collapse on the bed.

Woke up this morning at 9, meaning 6 hours of sleep. Took a drink of water and was thinking about eating before going to bed. Didn't get to eating. I was too nauseated. Drank more water and Slept for another 3 hours. Felt a bit better, but still nauseated. Went to the mall to get a sub from Subway. Ate it. Got some soy milk and chocolate from Zellers and felt remarkably better. Then played 10 hours of DOTA straight. And here I am now. So I feel a lot better now.

But I'm not getting 'drunk' again. It just feels too painful.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Four days left.

Yup, only 4 days left.

Tonight was a beautiful night. Warm, and not raining. It was damp because it rained in the afternoon, but overall, it was wonderful weather for december.

Anyways, I've been having weird dreams again. I don't know how to deal with it.

I don't know what to write right now. I had a whole length of discussion, but after playing some DOTA, it went out of my mind. I'm sorry.

I'm also quite tired. So many later. Good night.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Another cop-out post.

Well, instead of describe day 2 of the Montreal trip, I'll recount the dream that I'll just have. Quite an imagination, yes?

Was in a multiform sandbox like computer game where you can do almost whatever you wantand the computer will adjust acordingly. THe whole thing was that...well I don't remember the major enmy we're trying to defeat. But there was one part where it takes place in a school. And I was skipping how normally it would progress. Normally I'll be caught and we'll begiven the chance to win our freedom by fighting a ultra smart samurai cat, upon defeating him, would join our party. ( he was forced to be an assassin. However, I didn't want that because if I go down this route, I'll have to kill innocent citizens as well as the gypsies in this world, the river people. So I skipped the encounter. I told my companion to go elsewhere and I snuck into the leader's bedroom.

The samarai cat was a shadowy blob that was in the leader's closet. For some reason, I activated a trap so that they were about to find me. However, since I didn't do the stuff normally, the leader still regards me as on his side, instead of planning a rebellion against him. Therefore he asked me what I was doing in the closet and to come out. He turned around and I backstab him. I said hat there was no personal animity between us but he was worth 2600, no, 3200 dead to the rebellion. He said that's fine. Next time, it'd be you. And dies, while giving me vital information to do what I need to do so that the rebellion would not need to kill river people. Apparently, I need to go to the Finalists, a race of people that could wield magic based on a system of balance and shapeshifters. I had to somehow kill people we've met and broke bread with. This was a betrayal. I needed to force one of them to change into their animal form while we killed him (or her) and then sacrifice him so that peace may be there.

So we went to the finalist village and somehow tricked the main son of the leader to do so. He went into his animal form. But he went berserk (who wouldn't be). Apparently, what we were planning to do was to use the horns of the elder brother to kill his sister. This would trigger a magical chain reaction that would cause the world to reset. However, we couldn't do it as he became berserk at this point. We had to kill him instead. So at one point, I was grabbing him by the neck. I try to punch his sore spot (a little area above the forehead), but he barely noticed. Instead, I got pinned under his hind hoof because it stretched out and stomped me. Now he said "that wasn't nice", but then, another guy skewers him. He shimmers and basically he dies. We mourn his passing, because he was a friend that we had to betray. But then, we see him in his human form again 20 seconds later appearing from the same place. He said that next time he'd know to steer clear of me because I was a soldier in green (a prince acutally). So we met with him and his sister one last time and then we went back on the road to travel. Now I break the fourth wall here and wonder if I go back and did it the 'right' way, with the whole coliseum style fighting, what would I get. Apparently, the samarai cat as a choosable character as well as having another special character to use. I thoguht this was more appropiate and just continue playing.

At this point, there was discussion about how magical these Finalist people were. Most of them usually have the power of their namesake, and introduce their element into the world. For example, a finalist with a name like Firerune, usually have the ability to inject fire into the world. However, there are a lot of people with additive properties, being able to add energy into the world for some reason. The reverse is much less common. The family of the elder son and sister was like that. The elder son had an ability, but I forgot what it was. He had commented on it. I remember he wielded a lightning blade, something that shocks people, so I assume his element was electricity. His sister was name Firescape, but her ability was one to absorb heat, ie, she can control ice.

This was the point at which I woke up.
Anyways, I should do something...but if I waste the day again...sigh.

Hope you guys enjoy this. Although, it doesn't really say anything, but it does wastes 5-10 minutes!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Montreal Post delayed.

So anyways. Was going to post Day 2, but I got sidetracked into playing pool and having dinner, so that's gotta wait for another day.

One thing I think that will make it big would be a site made for nerd people to hook up with one another. Or for girls with a fetish for smart guys. After all, most of us don't usually go out much, thus we have lots of money right? =p.

Anyways. One thing I think we all have to be concerned about is confusing knowledge with information. Most people right now I think are exposed to a lot of information, but is rarely being applied. I think most people now are very rich in information, but lacking in knowledge.

I kind of think that certain people can be very smart, but don't really expand their horizons. I know I'm one, but I'd only expand my horizons if people tag along. I'm essentially a coward =/.

Anyways, I think people just need to spend more time together. I think I'll join Nexopia and take a look around. If nothing else, there's a lot of information that might be interesting reads.

Oh, and I'm totally enjoying the 80's music collection. Thanks Francis. Kickass songs. Oh, and Sameer's recommendation of The Fray is also awesome.

Just 2 more weeks left. In that time, I'll have to finish the boxes and the report. Fun times...Sigh. I think I might go to some musuems on the weekend. Otherwise I'll stick at home again. This is probably not good.

Anyways. I should go to sleep. Good night people.

The comic on the bottom is an example of the comedy I enjoy. That and Something Positive has awesome biting remarks. Kind of makes me want to be more witty, but too back I'm usually not fast enough to come back with lots of good comebacks =/.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Day 1 of the Montreal trip.

So anyways. It was friday afternoon. Everything was going well. I was going to take off an hour early so that we could beat the rush to Montreal. At 3:45, 15 minutes before my expected departure, the power went out in our block of town. The Kanata North Technology Park was running on backup power because there was a blackout. Outside, the winds were howling and snow was being pelted. Soon, I waited downstairs, but to no avail. I later got a call from Sameer that Eric got settled down with more work an hour before we were expected to go. So we waited until 5:00 before we left.

Took us another hour to get to Val's place to pick him up. So by then, Val and I were pretty hungry. Eric and Sameer seemed fine. It took us two and a half hour to get to Montreal. The ride there was pretty uneventful. After we got out of Ottawa, there wasn't a lot of traffic because the storm had not gotten there yet. We had reservations at St. Huberts for dinner for 12 people. However, because of the storm, we doubted the rest of them would get there for the 8:30 reservation. So we called ahead and changed it to 4.

When we got to Montreal, Val used his GPS to find the St. Huberts. That would be fine, except St. Huberts is a franchise. And while we have a general idea of where it was, it was not exact. And thus, Sameer led us on an unexpected tour of the industrial part of Montreal. Let's just say we really didn't want to be there at night. As well, the civil engineers that planned that part of the town needs to retake their exams. There was a small overpass, one lane only, that went beneath a bridge before veering off to the left. Now, there was a traffic light there. We followed it, but that traffic light basically dictated the flow of traffic. Quite dangerous as it is a blind spot and one lane only. And dark, not many street lights. Took us half an hour, but it was good fun trying to navigate to the St. Huberts.

Here's the customary first picture of a trip after arrival!

After we got there, St. Huberts really wasn't that bad. We got a soup, meal and desert for around 20 bucks. I got the Cream of chicken soup, ribs and a slice of New York cheesecake. It was good, but I don't know whether that was because of the hunger of their cooking. During the dinner, we saw a lot of red shirts because of the Liberal convention in town. There was a lot of old people, but a couple of pretty attractive young girls there. Surprisingly enough, there wasn't a lot of young guys. Anyways, we finished the meal quite quickly and then we headed towards the hotel.

The hotel had valet parking, and by the time we checked in, it was around 10:30. Since we had nothing exciting to do and everyone else had yet to check in, we decided to go for Shisha. Mind you, at this time, I had no clue what Shisha was.

So anyways, we proceded down to St. Denis and it was quite beautiful. During this time, we saw a really sketchy hotel (that was a couple of town houses strung together with a main office around the block in an alley). I saw the girl described in the previous posts here, walking with another girl and two guys. When we got to St. Denis, it was kind of mystical already. Montreal has that feeling when its 10:30 and there was a slight chill in the air but amazingly clear skies.

When we got there, Sameer was leading the Shisha. We sat in the back divan and basically chilled for a bit. Eric ordered a pitcher and Val seemed comfortable with Shisha. Never the one to reject something without trying it, I tried it while Eric just drank. Anyways, here are some pictures of us.

Eric, Val and Sameer posing

Eric, Me and Val sharing a pitcher.

Sameer trying to prime the Shisha. Look at that smoke fly. Yeah, he was getting high.

Me with Beer and Shisha tube.

So after Shisha, we headed back to sleep, as it was 3am and we wanted to do stuff the next day instead of just laying in bed. Here's a snapshot of St. Denis as we left it.

Anyways, that recounts Day 1 of the Montreal trip. I'm going to sleep. Good night and sweet dreams. Till I see you again, my beautiful Valkyrie.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

random post.

The Montreal trip will be discussed later.

I have a few things to state. And hopefully I will remember them.

I resolve to forget worrying about the past. The past is the past. It may define the present, but never the future. In a way (very big way), the past has tied me down. Even with my memory gaps, I can never seem to let go of the regret of past indecision and "mistakes". And that's a bad thing.

I resolve to try to travel more, much more. Random stuff is always fun. I resolve to take more pictures. To try and work towards a goal. Regardless of how 'bad' it is.

I resolve to make the best of the situation. I think I'm doing well now, but I think it could be better. More optimism and flattery I guess. I guess I'll just have to keep developing that facade. But then again, I've always seemed to have a dual personality. Or at least a paradoxical one.
Ah...might as well write it here.

Very cliche, and pulpish, but I remember a small story fragment on the Montreal trip. It was basically about love between a knight and a goddess. A tragic love tale where the knight was fated a lonely life. The goddess could let the world die to be with him for a few short moments or help the world through eternity. I'd like them to have a happy ending, but it developed in my mind as a tragedy. Too bad. I do remember that there was a way for them to be together, but in the end, it was a bittersweet ending.

When I was thinking about this, it was in the road and that's where I saw the girl mentioned in the previous post. I felt like I saw divinity there. Cliche, n'est pas? But sometimes, all it takes is a pretty face for inspiration to strike.

I just wished it strikes more often.

Awesome Montreal Trip

This weekend was awesome. Great trip overall. Saw alot of stuff that was cool. Lots of new stuff. Tried Montreal smoked meat. Pictures. Will post more when I feel like it.

One thing is for sure, lots of beautiful girls in Montreal. There was one girl that looked absolutely amazing that I passed in the street. I'd guess her height to be around 5' 3". Long dark blond curly hair that extended down below her shoulder, underneath a neat toque with multicolored bands and a little puffball on top. She had the face of an angel. Clear blue eyes. Dressed in avery light tan wool trenchcoat. I just wanted to grab her and hug her for being so adorable.

Anyways, I think I lost my heart to Montreal. Absolutely amazing city. Personally, much better than Toronto in terms of stuff to do and stuff.

Till I meet you again in my dreams, good night, my Valkyrie.