Saturday, September 22, 2007

Commitophobe

Another week, another rejection. This time, it's because I lack experience. C++ Experience. It's true. As an Electrical Engineer, there are few, if any, chances to practice software skills comparable to those learned by any Computer Science major. And yet, this is what I chose to be. A non-specialized hardware/software hybrid, that lack skills in both departments to make themselves useful. I can generally get a good grasp of ideas of what to do, and how to do it, but when it comes right down to it, I lack actual experience in doing anything it seems.

Yet, when I look at potential jobs and potential skill sets I can learn, I don't usually think of the possibilities that it would open up. That, I already know. It's like I already see each 'advanced' job as a specialized class with prerequisites. Yet, I know if I try to go for any of those 'advanced' jobs, I might miss out on other specialty classes along the way. It's hard to know exactly which one would be the most worthwhile and one that I like the most. I guess in a way, this is a commitophobia. I don't like to commit to things. I'd rather have enough potential to do anything. But that doesn't happen very often in technology. You're either software, or hardware. Hardware is much more specialized, but software requires much more experience.

For each job I see, I see 10 others that I'd miss out on. The gaming industry is certainly interesting and have a lively, young atmosphere, even if it is long hours and your game might suck. The financial industry is where the big bucks are, but is it going to be filled with old people and mathematical models? The hardware industry will always pay for expertise, but make you work long hours (past midnight) and tend to be so specialized, you're ruined for any other job. Account management and business management means that you'd develop people skills, but your technical skills with rust away to nothing. But it does mean you can go to business school for MBA.

I can see the possibilities for each one. But deciding on the one that would be the best...that's the problem.

You know what my dream job is right now? One that's in an industry I like (any of the ones mentioned above), with a corporate culture that's young and lively, in a city (not a town), with people I might know (like old friends) that just moved there and we could explore the city together. Or something. Vancouver would have been excellent, as would Seattle. Los Angeles as well. Whatever. I have to decide on a path. And I can't do it. It's just not in my nature.

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