Thursday, December 29, 2005

Success and Failure

Let see, today is December 28th and I'm currently sitting here bored. I never thought rest could be so boring without communication into the wired world. Thought I'd do some work for once, but my WTR is pretty much finished, and reading a control book is boring. I got distracted once again by games. I just couldn't stand the boredom. And then I read Rough from scratch. Adachi is truly a genius with his romantic comedies.

Didn't do much so far. Everyday is sleeping late until 4 in the afternoon and it is usually too late to do anything by then.Yesterday, went downtown with a bunch of people to this restaurant Rancho Relaxo. It had this lounge at the back of it where Mike, Andrea's boyfriend, was playing in a band. Pretty impressive. Liked it when he pulled out his acoustic guitar, because those were the slow songs.

My creativity has certainly not been awakened lately. My dreams have been getting less and less memorable. I can hardly remember many of my dreams now. It is as if my muse has abandoned me. Sometimes I wonder if she is making me choose between her and what could be my land-bound muse. All there seem to be is some kind of premonition that I can not quite understand.

Next term is not going to be fun. What with the enormity of the fourth year design project, one must ask if I'm happy where I am. Not many people want to discuss their futures when there is so much uncertainty surrounding it. Several of my friends are soon to be graduating from university with their four year programs. Most do not have a clear idea of what they want to do or even what they aspire to. Do we live in a world where dreams are dead? Or are they fell when they were just about to rise? When I bring the topic up on what they plan to do, I hear nary an idea and more often thean not, a request to change the subject. Isn't this our time of potentials? When we are at our peak with limiteless possibilities? But at the same time, is it the time of not trying for fear of settling for something when you could have had more? That's the great thing about uncertainty. You can't say you've failed unless you've attempted it. Without that attempt, who's to say who has succeeded and who has failed?

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