New Year 2009

I stopped the posts on Japan because I already wrote them as notes on facebook.

I've learned or remember two things about me.

One: I sincerely believe in the duology between creation and destruction. In my mind though, creation is the creation of something to be used, and destruction is using the 'charges' within something that was created. Thus, writing would be considered creation, whereas reading or watching TV, would be considered destruction. To achieve something though, one must balance creation and destruction. Pure creation would lead to contextless garbage. Pure destruction would mean an achievement of nothing concrete. A balance must be struck, with favor leaning towards creation.

Two: I view everything as a war. I look at myself as a knight, not a prince. I do what must be done. I like to be in the frontlines, but I can't see myself as a common soldier. I look at everything as a conflict of some sort. Because that is what life to me is. It is a conflict with glory for the victor. Note that I don't associate any particular goal as the end goal for life. LIfe is full of conflicts and it is hard to deteremine which ones is the most important goal in your life. Money is certainly not mine, although it does lend itself to be easily quantifiable. However, I wish to make myself as prepared for anything as I can be, and be able to handle any situation. Because I look at life as a continual war against death and insignificance.

Three: I look at the world as a mix of duologies. The time vs frequency domain is a favourite way for me to look at the world. It links a lot of philosophical details that I think about. For me, An eternity can be linked to an instant. And infinity can be linked to a constant. It is, in the prespective of the individual, to differentiate the two. Maybe life is eternally looking at the present moment, which is an instant to anyone else. And somtimes, we look at the endless possibilities and realize in the end, we have to still choose one constant result.

Four: Evolution is the continual battle against death. For all things succumb to death. And yet death, helps us evolve. Once we reach perfection however, we would no longer evolve. No longer evolving means no changes, which leads to stagnation. Stagnation might as well be called living death. It is the challenges that lead us to be living organisms. In a way, God, by its very definition, is undesirable as anything but a unachievable goal. Perfection in God, represents pure order, for perfection would be unchanging.

Perfection cannot have variations, for then that would mean that there are states that are as good as perfection. However, perfection should be the penultimate state, so there should only be one. By staying perfect, God would be singular and unchanging. Which represents a state of stagnation. Maybe this living death does not affect God. I do not know for I don't claim divinity. However, I do thing that for us imperfect beings, we do need chaos. For chaos, we need death. It represents the change that may bring to us new ways to fight death. Evolution is the careful balance of order and chaos that would lead us to greater heights towards perfection. However, it will never allow us to be perfect. We'll probably need another paradigm for that.

Five: Am I smarter than anyone else? I don't know. I sincerely believe that while I have the ability to figure things out faster than anyone else, I think it is only because of a faster grasp of pattern recognition. If we extend our metaphor of a computer, I have a very high clock speed, but my memory buffer and my gpu sucks. I learn things by repetition. I'm also not achieving anything recently, which means my senses are dulled. I need a new project, and fast.

That's all for today. I'm still debating on whether to return the camera or not. Probably not though. I should take more pictures.