First post of the new year.

Upon the request of Matt Carter, here is the next post.

So I'm up at 3AM because I can't sleep again. I lay awake at night, thinking about my life and trying to figure out what should be my next step. A crucial point in one's life is to determine what that person wants in life. Is it fame? Glory? Money? Power? Love? Respect? Honor? I don't know, and thus, I do not know my next step. And it consumes me.

I have never been a great multi-tasker. Sure, I can poke and prod at a number of different projects, but I really can't handle more than one main project at a time. And right now, I'm projectless. And it bums me out because I am not improving myself somehow.

Work, is work. It's not the most inspirational thing, but then again, my passions lay elsewhere right now. I don't rightly know exactly what I'd be interested in. I think I would like business. By making connections and deals. But one never knows what the future holds. That's not the same as saying you shouldn't prepare for eventualities.

But life really does give you what you ask for within reason. It's just that most people don't know what to ask, and more importantly, who to ask. And I think that's been bothering quite a bit. Will I do something with my life, or be one of the nameless masses milling around.

Oh yeah, another thing is the highly disproportionate amount of single people working in Comp/Elec Engineering firms. By single people, I mean single guys. Is this profession this way because the people have no time on their hands, or are we all people with no confidence or passion besides the electrons that do everything we tell it to? Harsh, but there may be a grain of truth in there.

The nameless masses. I wonder if that's a reason for this milling about. I mean, the whole relationship angle is that you become special to one person, and nothing (well, baring the end of the relationship) can take that away from you. It just seems easier than trying to become more famous than Bill Gates. Although, you have to wonder if that's what you want in life.

Ugh. I don't know what to write. Been reading certain books that teaches you how to network. The concepts are interesting, but to me, they're just concepts. I can't seem to apply them in practice because ..., well, I don't rightly know. It could be because I think I'm more of a maven than a connector. That change in thinking hasn't hit me yet.

Let see, an update on the romantic front? Nothing. Nothing at all. We chat a little, but that's pretty much it. She seems so busy all the time, and I think I reply a little too fast on the messages. But I can't help it, since I'm so used to instant messages from MSN over the years, my response time is very good (unless I'm gaming, which I can't do at work). We've talked about going to grab a bite to eat, but she stays till 2-3 in the morning most times for work, and we haven't set a date. I think I've been actually been given opportunities actually. She was stating what her plans were for the weekend (working on Saturday and maybe laundry on Sunday), so that would have been a great time to ask. But this was over Office Communicator (which is MSN for offices), and I don't feel right asking over MSN, so I decided to wait until after work (which is when I actually head over to her building). But at that time, she was busy and couldn't be found. So, I don't know what to do. Ugh. That was last week. Ugh. I'm not going to overthink this and just let this settle into what may come will come. No more overplanning.

My machine has been modded. Time to try out some new games, although to tell you the truth, I really don't have that much interest anymore. I need to find a new interest! I'm going back to sleep.

Till I see you in my dreams, my Valkyrie.